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Depressed
Posted on Tuesday, March 24, 2009 @ 4:17:00 PM | 0 comment(s)


Life's a bitch, I tell you.

It bites you in the ass just like any other female hostile dog would and sadly, a particularly big one bit mine.

My life is so f-up right now that I can't even smile genuinely. It's always forced.

Always.

But do my parents care?

F-no.

...Okay, maybe they do but...gah, I'm so frustrated.

Must I rip my heart out to show them how staying here is affecting me!? Must I!?

Why can't they understand that I can't f-kin study if I'm not happy at the school? I dread going to school! Like I dread seeing sharks.

Trust me people, sharks can give me a heart attack. Heck! I even cry when I see them on the TV screen (yes, the frickin TV screen!) when I was younger but thank god, I got over that but I'm still very much afraid of them.

It's not that that school's bad or anything...it's me. It's all very hard for me to take in.

I miss being able to talk, laugh and just be happy in school instead of being an emo new kid who's like an island and is probably mute because I don't talk that much when in truth, I talk like a machine gun shoots it rounds.

But it's been a bit (like 0.001%) bearable cause of two nice classmate of mine.

I don't blame them if they regret ever saying hi to me. I'm not exactly the right person to converse with at the moment.

I felt like this before when I moved from Sudan but it was different.

I had Eve, Serra, Stephy, Cassie, Lala and Sherilyn (though I don't really talk to her anymore~ XD She's a busy person!) at that time.

And not to forget Aiifa, Zeda and Purut (I still don't get why she's called Purut haha)

I miss my friends!

Never in my life have I ever hated my father's job until this very moment.

...

Whatever.

I have to go to sleep now. I have exams tomorrow and I damn hope I fail.

Like I care about school anymore.

This was Cece.

Peace and out.



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