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![]() Life's a bitch, I tell you. It bites you in the ass just like any other female hostile dog would and sadly, a particularly big one bit mine. My life is so f-up right now that I can't even smile genuinely. It's always forced. Always. But do my parents care? F-no. ...Okay, maybe they do but...gah, I'm so frustrated. Must I rip my heart out to show them how staying here is affecting me!? Must I!? Why can't they understand that I can't f-kin study if I'm not happy at the school? I dread going to school! Like I dread seeing sharks. Trust me people, sharks can give me a heart attack. Heck! I even cry when I see them on the TV screen (yes, the frickin TV screen!) when I was younger but thank god, I got over that but I'm still very much afraid of them. It's not that that school's bad or anything...it's me. It's all very hard for me to take in. I miss being able to talk, laugh and just be happy in school instead of being an emo new kid who's like an island and is probably mute because I don't talk that much when in truth, I talk like a machine gun shoots it rounds. But it's been a bit (like 0.001%) bearable cause of two nice classmate of mine. I don't blame them if they regret ever saying hi to me. I'm not exactly the right person to converse with at the moment. I felt like this before when I moved from Sudan but it was different. I had Eve, Serra, Stephy, Cassie, Lala and Sherilyn (though I don't really talk to her anymore~ XD She's a busy person!) at that time. And not to forget Aiifa, Zeda and Purut (I still don't get why she's called Purut haha) I miss my friends! Never in my life have I ever hated my father's job until this very moment. ... Whatever. I have to go to sleep now. I have exams tomorrow and I damn hope I fail. Like I care about school anymore. This was Cece. Peace and out. | |